The Adventures of Cambria

Goodbye Blogger

2010-04-02T14:13:00.000-07:00

I have decided i prefer my other blog. so this is goodbye.
sigh

cambriamichelle.wordpress.com

I'm back!

2010-03-14T13:28:00.001-07:00

Hi friends, family and supporters!

Just wanted to send you and update on my life

God has really been doing lots in my life.

Sorry that I haven’t written in ages, it has been really difficult from the places that I have been.

I spent the last two months traveling throughout the Middle East and studying the Bible and learning things about God i never knew before, and learning about his heart for people.

It has been so SO good! Unfortunately I have had to be really careful with what I have posted or sent on the Internet because it is sensitive in this part of the world, and things are closely monitored. But now I am in Greece and so on with the discussions!

I don’t even know where to begin, I guess at the beginning! Starting just after new years we studied in Egypt for about a month.

We stayed in Cairo for a total of two weeks, and Alexandria for two weeks. We read a book of the Bible every day (or just about) and spent time really getting deep into the Word and who God is. For me He really brought me through a lot of His character. It was a really good time; God was (and still is) doing a lot in me. I have been struggling through a lot, thinking a lot, reflecting, and through it God has been teaching me really important things i need to continue on this track and make a difference in the world.

I really had a hard time not doing as much ministry in Egypt. I see now that being away from it and just focusing on God and His Word was what exactly what I needed to remind me why I am here doing this program. That God has put a passion in me for people, and during my time in Egypt and Israel, I saw that passion in me rise up, and now I am more ready than ever to get out there and love and serve His children that He loves.

In Egypt we went into a place called Garbage City, where all the trash from Cairo goes to and peoples entire lives are based around sorting through the trash. They literally live amongst all the garbage. It was so heartbreaking, yet at the same time the people were amazing. I played ball with a kid for a bit, and he just seemed so content. It never ceases to amaze me how people can live in the worst situations and yet still have joy. And something that I have come to see is that I have just as much to learn from them as i have to teach them. If not more. This life excites me!

After the month in Egypt we got on a bus and went to Israel. Getting over the border was absolutely ridiculous; it literally took us two hours.

But once we got into Israel, I quickly fell in love with it.

It was incredible, and early on I felt that God had a lot to teach me about Himself and the work of His Son in that land.

I struggled a lot at the beginning. I didnt know what to make of all of it. I had so many questions I needed answered. We were still studying the Bible at this point, and also going into Jerusalem and Bethlehem and seeing the sights. It all seemed so extravagent and complicated, and it was too much to take in. All the conflict and pain, all the religions, all the people living together yet in their own complex worlds. AHH. I knew there had to come a point where God broke my heart, because of all places in the world, this was the place I felt Him most. Yet there was this resistence in me. Because of all these questions….

Then.

We had a prayer session in Jerusalem at the International House of Prayer ON the Mount of Olives, and God was faithful to encounter me in that place. We signed up for a 12 hour prayer time, from 8 pm to 8 am. I didnt know when in that time I would want to stop, I had no agenda, I just started praying at 8….and kept praying. At about 2 am i was super tired, and I decided to go to sleep, so i went downstairs to find a bed. I was just getting ready to sleep when my friend came and asked me to come back because her and a few others wanted to pray for me. So i did, and my life shifted. I dont know how to explain it, so i will keep it simple. Through my friends prayers He showed me that I am beautiful and precious to Him, despite what I have always believed. And that in order to love people like He wants me to, I have to first learn to love and accept myself, so I can stop being so selfish. And so since then I have been on a journey to discover what that means. My friend Lindsay got a word for me that He wants to reveal His love to me through Song of Solomon, so I have been reading that as much as possible. And God has been faithful to reveal. Every day I am more and more amazed at His faithfulness, and love, and every day I feel joy in knowing that I am my beloved’s and He is mine. And because of this joy i want to scream it out and love everyone because He loves them, and well, it all just makes sense now. Thanks Jesus.

So yeah, through all of this, God has been changing me in incredible ways.

We left Israel, spent some time in Turkey, and now I am in Greece. I am still learning and growing, and it is exciting. We are finishing up our time here soon, and then next thing you know I will be starting a whole new part of track with a whole new set of things to learn from God and a whole new set of places to discover and love God’s beautiful wonderful people.

So to wrap things up, I am coming to accept is that even if this moment in my life feels dry, God is doing something bigger. Even if we aren’t doing missions work every day, that in the long run God wants to do something bigger. He wants to mold me and form me into who He wants me to be, and He wants to open all of our eyes to His love for the world and His faithfulness. It is incredible. He wants to reach the world through us. So even if I feel discouraged about my lack of action, I know that He is working things out in His own way and I can trust in that. It is awesome.

Blessings to all of you.

<3 Cambria

p.s. I am going to post this on both my blogs, cambriamichelle.blogspot.com and cambriamichelle.wordpress.com.

I am still trying to decide which i want to keep, since i made this for my time in sensitive countries i dont necessarily need it anymore, but wordpress is growing on me.

I have also discovered i am not so good at posting blogs, so id like to start sending e-mail updates weekly if possible, so if you would like to recieve those, post a comment with your e-mail address!

if you have questions feel free to e-mail me

cmfinzel@gmail.com

The last for a while.

2010-01-04T09:25:00.001-08:00

This is the last post before my new blog.

This is important. Read AT LEAST the bold italicized paragraphs of this blog before entering my new blog.

I MEAN IT.
for good measure i wont put the link til the end. HA.
---------------------------

Greetings from Colorado.

Hello everyone!

How are you?

I hope very well!

And happy new year!

This blog is going to sum up my life in the last few months since my last update, and it will bring you up to date with what God has been doing in my life.

I left South Africa December 17^th after an amazing stretch of trials, growth, and learning. I am currently in Colorado for the holidays, but I leave January 4^th to fly back into the world of missions, starting in Cairo, Egypt.

South Africa was a place that I came to love very quickly. The culture is fascinating, and I came to love the town of Muizenberg where I lived. It was a cute little community with so much beauty and so much culture. Parts of this town were very wealthy by South African standards, and felt very westernized which helped me feel at home. But then other parts of the community were very poor and dangerous. About 10 minutes walk from my house was a township called Capricorn. Capricorn is the remnants of displaced living from the Apartheid, and so it is essentially shacks set up very close to eachother where people who cant afford normal housing live. It is a dangerous place, with much crime and gang violence.

My team did most of our ministry there. The set up of our days were generally the same every week. Monday thru Friday we had class from 9am- noon, and then the rest of the day was set aside for photo assignments and ministry.

We involved ourselves in ministries with a local high school tutoring, doing Bible studies, holding prayer vigils, and teaching photography to young kids all in the township of Capricorn. God really gave us all a heart for this township being that it was very close to home (literally) and there was much sadness, crime, and poverty there. What is awesome is the Bible studies which seemed to be the biggest ministry of ours, are still going on after we left! There are friends of ours who are as committed as we were to seeing a change come to Capricorn through a common love of Jesus Christ. While we were there, I really did feel a shift in the overall feeling of the area as God was doing His work.

It was a blessing to be in South Africa, and I learned so much about social injustices in the form of prejudice, violence, and judgement. It was very strange seeing the separation of the whites from the others in the area, as many whites feel fear around the colored and black people (yes there is a difference between colored people and black people and yes it is politically correct to call them that in SA, look it up) of the community, and so they generally avoid them as much as possible. It is so strange to see neighbors treating eachother in that way.

I learned quickly that I wanted to see if I could bring these people together, and so I befriended people of every race in the community of Muizenberg. I like to think that when people see a white person interacting with people not of their color, it makes them think twice. That is the sort of influence that needs to be raised in South Africa.

I also made a point to just do ministry by getting to know the people in the town of Muizenberg. From the black waiter at the local pizza place, to the colored owner of a small coffee shop, to a white manager at a restaraunt, I found the most joy getting to know the people in the community and minster to them by being a walking example of love.

Now for the sake of keeping this blog shorter than I have been known to keep them in the past, I will tell you about what the coming months of my life will look like.

First and foremost, I have to make it absolutely clear that I will not be able to communicate normally in the coming months. In Egypt we have to take special care not to draw attention to our ministry, and so the YWAM leaders there have asked us not to use facebook at all, use limited e-mail, and only communicate via blog that is made out to be for tourism. Since Egypt is such a muslim country, they do not want any foreign missionaries there at all. So I will be making a new blog to use during my time in Egypt, Israel, and Palestine specifically. I will post the link on this blog, as well as key words I will use in my new blog so you know what I mean.

As far as ministry, I am not entirely sure what we will be involved in yet, as we haven’t been able to communicate with the people in Egypt about it a lot. I do know that we are going to have some learning time in Biblical studies, and we will study the Bible on location! What an incredible opportunity!!

I look forward to seeing how God uses me in Egypt and what ministry he will allow me to be involved in.

So from now on please keep up to date with me on my other blog

Know that I wont be able to post any more photos while im in Egypt and probably Israel too. I wont be e-mailing unless I am sure it is a secure connection and people are being cautious. That means you!

Cambriamichelle.wordpress.com- DO NOT OPEN UNTIL YOU HAVE READ WHAT IS IN BOLD!! please!

And here is the key for the way I will speak:

God- My father

YWAM- the Y

Ministry (opportunities)- touristy things, touring with, touring opportunity

Missionary- traveler

WHAT IM DOING- my journey/ my travels

Ie: I wanna be a full time traveler and so I am setting out on a great touring opportunity with my father and a great traveling family I met at the Y in Egypt.

Meaning: I want to be a missionary and so I am involved in ministry alongside the Lord and a missionary family I met at YWAM in Egypt.

Haha. Get it?

Now for good measure!

Photos from South Africa!

Ncobile, sweet woman I stayed with and did a photo story on

Kids in White River, South Africa

Capricorn Park, South Africa

I WILL MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU FOREVER SOUTH AFRICA!

Here is my new blog:

Cambriamichelle.wordpress.com- DO NOT GO THERE UNTIL YOU READ at least WHAT IS BOLD IN THIS BLOG

:)

2009-10-27T06:25:00.000-07:00

I. Love. South. Africa.

Life.

2009-10-18T12:19:00.000-07:00

Greetings from South Africa!!

Before I forget…I want to update everyone on Dear Panama…I want you
all to know that we haven’t just forgotten about it. We didn’t just
leaving Panama having done our part and feeling good about ourselves.
Our hearts are still very much in Panama with those children and with
Matt and Misty and their ministry. We are keeping in touch with them
and supporting them in prayer. They are very busy at the time with
their new job in the government building, but they are still working
on getting the book published and passed out. I will keep you updated
when I know more.

As for my life here…
It is interesting. I have talked about the contrasts here…haven’t I?
It is very peculiar. You walk down the street and see rich white
people and poor black people not so much as exchanging glances…it is
sorta unnerving. I often feel on edge and strange. I get begged for
food or money on a daily basis, something I have learned to turn my
cheek to and ignore. How should I feel about that? I mean, really, I
wish I could give to every hungry kid, every desperate mother, every
ashamed father. But I cannot, it just is not realistic, is it? It
breaks my heart little by little. Because I know God loves each and
every one of them.
So in that way, it is oppressive being here.
Rich, poor.
Black, white.
Smiles, scowls.
Tears, laughter.
Danger, safety.
Every day I see them all, its like a warm and cold wind hitting me in
the face simultaneously, which is an ironic metaphor considering its
windy here all the time anyhow.

So really I love it and I hate it here. I love the warm. I hate the
cold. I hate the warm. I love the cold. It is all so confusing.

Anyhoo. I am done trying to explain myself in a poetic way. It is not happening.
So I will get on with it.

A day in my life besides all that. I wake up, eat breakfast, and go to
class in the living room of the beautiful house we have been blessed
to live in. We start the day of worshipping or praying together...or
both. Then we learn, about photography, and the culture of South
Africa, about God’s heart for the people of the world.

Then we have lunch and the rest of the day is ours for ministry. This
is all pretty general….there is a lot more to my life…but this is the
easiest way to explain it, because frankly I am jumping at the
opportunity for simplicity right now.

Every Monday evening we have a prayer vigil in the local township
Capricorn. This place is about a 10 minute walk away. Oh I feel
another poetic streak coming on…

It is insane. I walk out my door and see huge (by African standards)
houses everywhere, with large gates and fences, guarded by spikes,
barbed wire, electric fencing. I walk by a high school. I walk by a
park. It all looks pretty normal (minus the security). Then I cross a
main road. I see a cemetery. I walk past it, and I see a shopping
center. A McDonalds. A grocery store, some quaint shops. I walk past
those…and there it is. Endless houses stacked on top of each other.
Tin roofs, trash littered in every gutter. Children in filthy and torn
clothes, shivering against the setting sun. Boys with harsh looks, way
too mature for their age. The danger sends shivers up my spine,
and poverty stings my nostrils. I cannot show this of course. I act
normal, confident. I smile at the children as if this lifestyle is
totally normal. This is the Africa I remember.

I don’t judge them, I love them. I don’t assume they are unhappy or
dangerous, I assume the best of them. It is the things that I have
heard that run through my mind. The prejudices that are still left
over from the Apartheid that only ended a mere 15 years ago.

Its the old white woman that stops me on the way to Capricorn to ask
me if I know where I am going, and that its dangerous. She would never
come within 100 meters of a township. EVER. It just isn’t possible for
her. Because of how she has been raised.

It’s the boy who begs me for
bread. He is so hungry, he tells me. I could just get him a hot
chocolate? he asks.

It’s the young concerned mother who tells me to keep my money tucked
away somewhere safe. That this isn’t America.

It is the tiny child who clutches to me and tells me not the walk home
from Capricorn after dark, it is not safe. Just stay here with him
tonight, keep him warm. Oh how I wish I could.

It is when they ask me for something, anything to make their lives a
little better. I feel helpless. But at the very least I can pray.

Our prayer vigils have been amazing. A chance to meet people in
Capricorn, to pray for them. To open up our arms and raise up prayers
to the God that loves us so much that he would send His only Son to
die for us. That He would pour out His love and mercy in this place.
That His love would spread like the air stirred by a butterfly’s wing,
picking up speed and momentum until everyone in Capricorn could feel
and know His love, and from there all of South African would cry out
His Holy Name.

It has been a blessing to pray for Capricorn.

As far as other ministries. A man named Clinton has lived in South
Africa all his life and is from Capricorn. He lives in Muizenberg now
and is actually dating a girl who was on my DTS. She came here for
outreach instead of Panama with a whole group from my DTS, and so she
and Clinton have continued on Bible studies started during the
outreach phase. There are Bible studies every day of the week, and
many people eager in Capricorn to join in. They have great turn out.
There are so many that want to join in that they need more leaders. My
friend Kristin and I are looking into starting our own Bible study or
some other sort of ministry in Capricorn twice a week. Even if it
doesn’t become official many of us love to go into the township during
the week to meet people and hear their stories, ministering to them
when God prompts us. That at the moment makes the entire experience
worth it. Meeting the people that God loves very much.

There are other ministry opportunites at the highschool and in an
orphanage that I may get involved in. My leader Steve is also looking
into other ways to plug in.

We have been learning about empowering people through our photography. I believe it is valid to believe this is possible. People who are marginalized have a lost a sense of being. The DO life, they exist, but they dont live. Thrive. They have lost purpose. People in Capricorn often ask me to take their photo. I have learned that they want it because when they see their photo, it proves they are a person who is real. They exist, and they are living. All I must do is care for them, love them, tell them that God loves them. This is this ministry track is about. Using our photography to empower people. Show them they have real VALUE. More on this later....

I would appreciate prayer that God would show me what ministries to
get involved in for the rest of my stay here in beautiful Cape Town.
That he would show me where He wants to use me, and that I would be
open to it and I would thrive in His plan and His love.

Thank you for your love, support, prayers.

I am thinking of home and missing it often.
And you too.

<3>

Working on it.

2009-10-12T06:48:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Greetings from South Africa! I am so sorry I am AWFUL about blogging these days (not that i have ever been good at it)

Internet is just stinking expensive and out of my way, and things have been really busy between ministry and school.

Still working on getting involved with more ministry opportunities, and I will update as soon as I can about all of that!

Thank you to everyone who has given to me financially, I am getting closer and closer to having all my funds for the next 3 months!! Praise God!

And of course thank you for continually praying for me as I continue on this spiritual, emotional, and physical journey!

I love and miss you all!!

<3 Cambria

Internet Cafe.

2009-09-27T05:23:00.000-07:00

It is so interesting sitting a little internet cafe in south africa. I am surrounded by people speaking who knows how many languages. The girl to my left, German (not gonna lie, its entertaining trying to understand her, i sorta can!). The girl to my left, english. The dude behind me, Afrikaans.

I love this place. It is so fascinating. It is dangerous, yet I have found comfort. It is beautiful, but there is so much underlying ugliness (traveling apparently has made my english worse). It is rich, but yet SO poor. There are tons of blacks, and tons of whites. There are beautiful smells, and there are awful smells. And on and on.

It is really incredible what this place does to my senses.

Tomorrow I start track officially. I will need all the prayers I can get. I am so excited and so nervous all at the same time. I have already been presented with numerous ministry opportunities I cannot wait for! There is a township nearby (Capricorn) where we will hold bible studies, and mentor young girls. I would love to lead a childrens Bible study too, and teach art. Pray that God uses me in ways I never expected in Capricorn. That he provides a means for us to disciple in new ways.

As of now I have managed to raise 1700 dollars, HOW incredible! Thank you to anyone who is reading who gave! God is good!

And thank you 0f course for all of prayers, it really means the world to me. Every day I wake up encouraged knowing there are people out there thinking of me and holding me up in prayer.

I must go now, im racking up the Rand on this computer.
Will update again soon!

Love,
Cambria

heres the deal....

2009-09-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for my camera....REALLY.
That I have it, and that I have been able to use it to express myself and do what I love...
That God can use it and the skill He has equipped me with to bring Him glory and to capture His love in His beautiful creation.
I am thankful..
That my Dad got me a beautiful new lens for it a few months ago.

For so many things

It works fine, but it doesn't exactly do what I need it to do.

I am trying hard to be thankful and not worry about it and be okay with what I have...

but secretly I am praying

that I could possibly

SOMEHOW

get a new one.

A full frame.
Preferably Nikon...or even Canon.

The thing is that I am very limited by my current camera. Sure it takes photos, and the skill primarily comes from the photographer...but I do feel that I could better express myself on a better quality camera.
Olympus has a lot of problems, like manually focusing, and sharpness. Its enough to drive me mad.
I know I have managed to get good photos with my camera, but the photos I take are never QUITE what i was going for (particularly cuz my camera isnt full frame)

If I have learned one thing from my recent adventure to Panama, its that God cares about the little things (well of course I learned a LOT more about him too) :)
He wants to take care of me.
So I am praying that a new camera will somehow come my way.

That is all,
would you pray for me?
Thank you!

I have this week off and then begin track!!
Thank you for your continuous support and prayers!

Love,
Cambria

South Africa update

2009-09-10T03:19:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!!
How are you?
I'm good, thanks!!
WHERE are you?
South Africa!
What are you doing there?
I'm at a University of the Nations conference this week in Worcester
and then next week I will be at debrief is Paarl.
Debrief?
Yes DTS is wrapping up! Can you believe it?
No! I hardly can!
Yep! Then I start track mid September! I will be living in Muizenberg, SA until December
Neat!
I know, right? I cannot wait to see how God uses my track team here in Africa!! Please continue to pray for my team and I!

Okay, I'm done having a conversation with myself.
For all your information, I got to South Africa safely on saturday.
Our team was exhausted after about 48 hours of traveling and we headed to the
hostel where team South Africa was staying. We bunked down for the next two nights
and the headed to Worcester for the U of N conference monday.
The conference is made of people from all over the world that are part of YWAM. There are 50 nations represented here in SA, and we are video conferencing with locations in Kiev, Ukraine, Cairo, Egypt, and somewhere in Switzerland!
It is really cool!
God is very alive in this place in this time!
Unfortunately I am still jet-lagging really bad (the worst of my life)
and I am having a hard time focusing during the "workshops."
But otherwise I feel I have gotten some good things out of them thus far.
On sunday we will depart and head to Paarl for debrief.

Internet is scarce, I will try to update as often as I can to let you all know where I am at.
With the help of my wonderful father I have sent out a newsletter!
It was mailed out yesterday, so you should all be getting in the mail very soon!
If you arent on my mailing list and would like to be let me know!!

Please keep me in your prayers. I need finances by the end of the month, that is the biggest prayer request.
Also pray I will get over this gnarly jet lag and be able to focus on what God wants to teach me in this time.

Thank you!!

Love, Cambria

P.S. I LOVE SOUTH AFRICA.

The Orphans.

2009-09-01T19:21:00.001-07:00

It all comes down to them...

My whole time here in Panama.

I've been asked what has been the best part of being in Panama.
Or the worst.

All of it has to do with them. The children.

Maybe I had a more spiritual encounter in the Ngobe, or it was the hardest thing...
but really..

All of my efforts have come down to the orphans.

Yesterday we went and said goodbye to the kids that we spent the most time with.
It was the hardest thing I have ever done.

I mean like....emotionally.

I dont think it has even really hit me yet.

It wasnt necessarily just the fact I had to part with these beautiful kids for a long time...probably forever...
It was the symbol of that action that got me.
We care for these kids so much and they dont even know it. I wish they could.

I think what really bothers is me is the hope we may have given these kids.
We visited enough to where they remembered us...
And then we left.

Yeah we are doing things to help the bigger picture, but it doesnt feel like it at the moment.
I really REALLY pray this book does some good.
That is gets approved.
That the government funds it...that God uses it to speak to hearts....and people start caring about the orphans.

Please Lord

There were a few things that struck me yesterday at the orphanage.

One, there was a girl who seemed to be American that came and they all were very excited and she played with them. It was like she comes a lot, which excites me. I pray that more people like this come into the lives of the orphans...consistent people...to care.

Two, I went into the baby room. There was a little girl sitting on the floor, probably six months old. I found out she is the sister of three of the other kids we spent a lot of time. All four of them were abandoned by their prostitute mother. These children are particularly beautiful. I cant imagine how someone could just give them up.

When I went over to this beautiful little girl, she smiled really big. I scooped her into my arms and she clasped onto me, obviously taking comfort in the arms of a mother-like figure. It broke my heart. She was so adorable. She doesnt get the attention she deserves. I had to put her back into her crib because we were leaving. Prying those tiny hands off of me and putting her into that lonely crib with no toys or blankets or anything...just a white sheet...it killed me. I mean dread filled my body, I wanted to collapse and cry. I am tearing up writing this right now.

I just wanted to stay and love these children...
Some of the other babies showed symptoms of institutionalization that we had been told about. They didn't respond to physical touch, or the sound of our voices. Their heads had actually become flat and bald on the back from laying all day without being picked up. These babies learn at an early age that crying isnt something that gets attention. Its weird being a room of babies for a long time without hearing one cry.

Its nothing against the "tia's" or care moms...they do all they can, its just too much to handle...all of these children.

This particular orphanage doesnt appear to have abuse going on, but there are many that do.

Another thing that struck me, I was leaving and there was one baby in his crib standing up looking at me. I couldnt help but go say hi to him. I walked over and leaned over the edge to give him a little kiss, and he was immediately taken by that thing dangling from my neck. What baby doesnt take interest in necklaces, right? It was at this moment I thought about how this little beautiful child is like any other baby. So innocent, so fragile, so impressionable, so eager to learn. The only difference is the lack of a parent. And because of this he will not grow up and act like a well loved child acts. This cute perfect baby will not be loved like he needs and so he will act out when he grows up. Its a proven fact. Unless someone can give him the attention and care he needs.

I went back downstairs to say goodbye to all the other little children. The 2-5 year olds. The did not want us to go. One little girl, clung to me and literally would not let go. I had to tickle her to make her let go of my neck. None of us speak spanish so we couldnt explain to the children that we were leaving for good, but that we loved them and we didnt want to go. So all I could say was "Te amamo." which means "we love you."

Walking away from the orphanage my stomach turned flips and I felt like I was going to lose my lunch. How could I just be walking away from these kids forever?
But how can i possibly love and care for all the orphans in this world? How can I really change things?

Dear orphans of Panama. I love you.

On the way home I was sitting across the aisle in the bus from a mother, napping, holding her daughter on her lap who was also napping. The girl must have been 2 years old. Her mom was cradling her, and every once in a while the girls head would roll back and her mom would wake up and readjust for her daughter. It kept happening, and it was kinda humorous. Then the bus stopped and another mother lead her little boy to the front of the bus, paid, and then picked him up and went out of the bus and on her way.

These are both silly instances, but all at once the emotion hit me. It is little things like this, sleeping in your mothers lap, holding her hand, being held by her...having that attention and care all to yourself. She is yours. Your own Mom.

Now more than ever I pray that God will use this publication to reach people. I pray that people will have a heart for these children and that they will actually adopt children without shame. I pray that this cycle of institutionalization ends. I pray that scuzzy uncles will not be the ones to recieve the kids, but loving families. I pray that the government would NOT settle for these half-hearted family members. That the number of orphans will decrease and diminish. That people will learn what it really means to be a parent. The impact it has on their kids when they abandon them. That every child has purpose, meaning, value. They are loved by God.

All I can hope in is this book. That it does what we...what God purposed for it to do from the moment it was thought up. That through it some of these kids will get the home they deserve from a family who were struck by the reality of the value of these children. That's what this book explains. Their value.
This is the only thing I can hold to in this time as I grieve leaving Panama.
I did all I can do.
I am so thankful for Matt and Misty who have devoted their lives to the orphans of Panama. It is my prayer God will bring more people alongside them to help them. They cant do it alone. We have given this book over to them to help, but they need people to be with the kids in the meantime....as they wait to be adopted....
For me....
I must address other injustices. If God calls me back here at the end of track...then awesome. For now I know I must go see the other things on God's heart...

AHH it all just kills me.
I dont want to leave.

And then last night I was going to bed and the couple with the two year old sleep a door away from me and I could hear him crying. I thought about what this child cries about vs. what the other kids cry about. It overwhelmed me and led me into a restless night of sleep.

So i sit here and write this just overwhelmed with thoughts. Obviously. I just needed to get my feelings out.
<3
:)
Thank you for reading.
Love,
Cambria

semi/very urgent prayer request.

2009-08-30T18:54:00.000-07:00

I was going to write this as a prayer request in the prayer letter I am about to send out....but I realized this is something that needs to be addressed sooner than people will get my letter! So if anyone reads this in the next few days please pray!!!

The book Dear Panama that we have been working really hard on is done, which is such a huge blessing and answer to prayer!! We have hard copies and we couldnt be happier (or prouder). They really express the beauty and struggle of the orphans in Panama. We really feel that God is pleased with the message of the books!

However there are two big things standing in the way of the story of Dear Panama being told in this beautiful country. One, we need the funds. We hope to get the funds by being sponsored by the government and getting the books published, which brings me to big-thing-standing-in-the-way-#2. The government doesnt allow photos of orphans to be published anywhere, and so for this book to be an exception would require the book to really speak to the heart of whatever government official it needs to speak to. If this happens, the book has a good chance of doing what we have prayed it would do...change things in Panama. Raise awareness so that these beautiful orphans have a chance at having a safe home, a LOVING family.

So please pray that when Matt and Misty take the book to be approved, God would move the hearts of the people reading it and it would funded and passed out all over Panama (and maybe even America!) so that God can do His work through the book.

How cool would it be if in the states people started having a heart for adopting Panamanian orphans? They are beautiful special children that Jesus loves! I think it could happen!

All we can do now is pray!!

Thanks!

In Him,
Cambria

Photos!

2009-08-23T19:19:00.001-07:00

Here are some of my favorite photos from life in Panama.

Unfortunately, I cannot upload photos of any of the orphans faces or write their real names...until further notice. (The government has some rules for the protection of the kids...which is good, but a bummer for me) :)

We stayed at an orphange for 3 days...it was such an amazing time to get to know these kids and show them the love of Christ that they are so in need of.

Though the basic needs of the children are met, they lack the special care and love that comes from a real family. They are neglected and often suffer abuse. They suffer symptoms of institutionalization and if they are never adopted they will most likely end up abandoning their own children. It is a cycle in Panama that we are trying to break by coming alongside Matt and Misty (directors of Hearts Cry Children's Ministry) and helping raise awareness of the orphan problem and promoting adoption and foster care.

Most Panamanians dont know there are orphans here. There are VERY little adoptions that take place. As things are now, the odds are against any of these kids ever having a family.

Since orphans are looked down on...the chances of these kids ever having a normal life is slim unless they one day find a real family.

These are the things the publication we are making addresses.

He is 2. I especially loved him and I like to think he liked me too :)
He has three siblings in the orphanage with him, and we found out their mother is a prostitute.
By Panama's definition he is not an orphan because his mom is still alive...

We saw a sloth at the orphanage. It was cool to see, but my favorite part was how the kids reacted to it! They were fascinated. Almost as much as me.

She is the oldest in the orphanage, and everyone knows it :)

....she is the sister of the boy before...and the oldest of the clan. She was quite the personality, but when we took the cameras out she got very shy

We made paper cut out masks for them, they loved it!

Now for some city photography....
Casco Viejo. Or something similar to that name. I am never really sure :)

not to go totally off topic or anything....

I just really love shooting in the city...

Thanks for reading...
Love,
Cambria

truth :)

2009-08-23T14:28:00.000-07:00

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

while im at it.

2009-08-17T13:27:00.001-07:00

I'm blog happy today!!!
But I just remembered that I was gonna post a blog about the most important reason I am here in Panama. DUR!
Although I do believe God has really used my team to impact people in the Ngobe and beyond, I feel that the thing God is really doing through us is sharing his heart for the orphans of Panama.

Here in DTS we talk in seasons.
This is a good season.
Starting today.
I made a willing decision last night that I am going to be happy. I said "God, I trust you with my life. And only you will bring me joy. So I will rely on you fully."
Got a problem with that Satan? bite me.
Sorry.....

I am just really in a great mood today...could you tell by my productivity?

So I am going to try to make this brief. Seriously. I hope.

From week one God put orphans on our hearts.
We were introduced to a couple who only in the past few years started a ministry out here in Panama for orphans. They dropped everything in their comfortable lives in North Carolina to move here after God clearly called them to do so. You see, they had been looking to adopt, and they were brought to Panama in the process. They soon found out that adoption is RARE here...and international adoption impossible. So they came here and started Hearts Cry Children Ministry(check em out- heartscrychildren.com).

When we arrived we met with them and decided we would work alongside them to raise awareness about the orphan problem. They told us there are roughly 50,000 orphans in Panama. This is not widely recognized because when they count orphans they only count children whose parents are both dead...not children who are abandoned. Plus no one really bothers counting. As a result many people dont even know there is an orphan problem at all. (we spoke at a church and no one had ANY IDEA there was an orphan problem!!)

What is more there is a cycle that continues because of institutionalization. The kids are raised in much less than ideal living situations (there is often abuse from care-takers and other children, the kids often experiment sexually with each other, and there is always some form of neglect), homes are never found for them (because of the lack of adoption and foster programs), so they grow up not receiving the care they need and end up in crime and eventually they abandon their own children. It is a cycle that is visibly getting worse.

I am not going to go into extreme depth about the orphan problem here for one reason.
We are putting out a publication!!

That is what this blog is about!

I need prayer in this time because my team is working day and night to finish a book we are making before we leave in a couple weeks.
It is my prayer that the book is effective. Without God it is nothing. We have been praying since we knew we were going to be making a publication God's hand would guide us because through Him this book could make a difference!!

So. We have visited various orphanages and conducted interviews learning stories and spending time with the orphans and caretakers of Panama. Now we are putting these stories together into a book with PHOTOS we have taken that will be published in spanish (dont worry ill have an english version in PDF for you all to see!). Every page in the book is a photo, all photos taken by my team! More importantly, the stories. We have personal journal entries from our experiences, journal entries from kid's perspectives, and from people who have been adopted. It is so exciting to see it coming together. When it is finished it will be handed out to people all over Panama to start raising awareness about the orphan problem!

We hope to pass out the majority of the publications in churches in Panama because we believe the church can raise up in Panama and make a huge difference.

Praise report: Matt and misty wrote a proposal to the government. It essentially outlines the problem and presents a solution (basically enforcing the laws that are in place and making new laws) so that proper homes can be found for these children. Misty was a lawyer in the States, and so as you can imagine the legal knowledge helped tremendously and they were able to produce an AMAZING proposal. Well, the week we arrived here in Panama a new president was elected into office. His name is Martinelli. The last president didnt care about orphans, and the system became very inefficient as a result. All orphanages are owned by the government, and government officials try to find family members to take kids once they are orphaned. There is a law in place that says within 6 months if a relative doesnt claim the orphan then they are not eligible to have the kid. But they ignore this law and try for years to get the kid out of orphanges (to get the ugly numbers down), even if this means putting the kid into a totally unsafe environment. Anyhow, the new president. What an amazing time for him to come into office. It just so happens that Martinelli's sister has a heart for orphans and is doing work of her own with them. Matt and Misty had already met her not knowing she was related to someone who would run for office. She totally loves Matt and Misty too. All of this to say that there was a great platform for Matt and Misty to start with. Anyway, last week they had the long awaited meeting at the government building to propose their...well...proposal? hehe....anyway...IT WENT AMAZINGLY. Not only did they totally support all of their ideas, they MADE OFFICE SPACE for them!! They started today!! We havent had a report back yet on their first day..but HOW COOL HUH?

All of this goes to show that God really did have a purpose for me and my team here in Panama. I mean, what a perfect time for us to come. During all of this proposal stuff. Now that they have approval to get adoption and foster programs running they can finally start seeing their visions for Panama's children come true. And to help them let people know they will have our publication to hand out. The thing is is that no one really adopts because there are negative connotations with orphan insinuating that they could never be suitable for a middle class family..its like they are like animals. People would be embarrassed to be seen with them! So sad. So our book makes it clear that these kids are beautiful and wonderful and LOVED and yeah. ITS ALL JUST SO EXCITING.

That is all for now.

I will put pictures up from my visits to orphanages soon.

Questions?
Please ask.
Blessings!
Cambria.

Just cuz.

2009-08-17T10:35:00.000-07:00

I feel inspired.
God is so good.
I just want to praise him.

Listen to this story {its super cool}.

It was the first night we arrived in Panama (2 months ago now, whoa!!)
After countless hours of traveling we were exhausted.
We waited at the airport for almost 2 hours for another group that was on a different flight.
Finally they arrived and we left the airport on a YWAM bus.
When we got to our humble abode...Gamboa Union church.

BUT ALAS.

Something was not right.

My leaders Steve and Diane (have been married for only a year) realized that a bag was missing.

We searched high and low.

And it never turned up....

It contained........
their lap top
An external hard drive
A book of quotes they had kept since they met only two years ago.
{It carried all of their best memories!}
And other very valuable things!!

It was succhh a tragedy.

That night and over the next few days we prayed it would turn up at the airport.
Diane remembered setting it down at the airport for a second to hug one of our arriving team, but she doesnt remember seeing it after that.

It was snatched!
NOOO!!

So anyway we prayed and prayed it would show up but we (meaning I) figured it wouldnt since it was stolen. We (I) prayed for a miracle anyway. But we (I) didnt expect too much because our (my) hopes would surely be let up.

A month and a half went by. Steve and Diane never once seemed to stress out too much about the loss of these valuable possessions. Of course it stressed them out a bit, but they were very calm and cool about it. Like they knew God would be faithful {duh}.

At one point they wrote their supporters about the incident and managed to raise enough money for a cheap lap top. A lap top is important for editing photos, storing photos, managing photos...all that..but most importantly for communication back home for prayer needs and family things and to inform supporters of news and you know all that...

SO ANYHOO.

Where was I?

Oh yes... a month and a half went by.

They had their money, but didnt move forward on buying a lap top just yet....

THEN ONE DAY......

Steve recieves an e-mail that goes something along the lines of....

"Dear Steve. Yesterday I bought your lap top at a garage sale in Tennessee. I just wanted to make sure you didnt need anything off of it before I wipe the hard drive...there seems to be a lot of personal files still on it. It is in great condition and I got it for a good price...just wanted to make sure."

YEAH. NO JOKE.
TENNESSEE.

So Steve writes back and being kind as he is replies something along the lines of...

"Dear gracious civil citizen. Thank you for asking. My lap top was stolen from me in Panama about a month and a half ago. I can reimburse you the price you paid and I will take it back, or you can keep it if you need it. Pray and ask God for guidance on the matter"

Couple weeks later the lap top along with all of the other things that were in the back pack show up on the door step at Steve's parents house.
All there.
All in tact.

NO JOKE.

The guy didnt ask for the $200 he spend on the items back.
Just out of the kindness of his heart he had the stuff shipped.
No questions asked.

GOD IS SO FAITHFUL TO ANSWER PRAYER!

I mean seriously.
We didnt think he would ACTUALLY make it show up.
That would be a miracle and miracles dont really happen to ordinary people do they?

HECK YES THEY DO!

What are the chances that some kind man would buy and it care enough to check with steve and then care enough to give it back!

I MEAN REALLY! WHO DOES THAT!?

That stuff really ended in the right hands.
God has his hand on the situation the whole time.

A little faith woulda been nice Cambria.

Prayer really does work.

He provides for the needs of His children.
Steve and Diane's story is a perfect example of this.

I am so happy.
God is so good.

I am on a kick of God's provision right now.
I just read God's Smuggler.
My mom has been trying to get me to read it for like...5 years...and I never have. Seriously I just didnt feel like it for some reason.
But then suddenly when my life is taking a dramatic turn toward missions I suddenly have this urge to read a book about a guy who dedicates his life to missions. Who does God's work. Not only that, Brother Andrew relies on God to provide every single need as a income-less missionary...and God DOES PROVIDE. EVERY TIME.
What a testimony of His faithfulness, hey?

It is my prayer that I can trust God like Steve and Diane and Brother Andrew do with providing needs.
CUZ HE DOES.

Elvis

2009-08-17T06:58:00.000-07:00

I love Elvis.
I know this has nothing to do with my blog.
But bear with me.
When i was a wee girl i remember my dad used to sing "Hound Dog"...and other various elvis hits.
I of course thought he was a goof ball and completely wrote off Elvis.
So right now I am sitting checking my e-mails and I have my itunes on shuffle...
AND ELVIS CAME ON!
I had a total rush of nostalgia and I have a stupid grin on my face I cant wipe off now.
"Wise men say....only fools rush in....but I cant help falling in love with you!"

My husband BETTER sing that to me someday :)

The Ngöbe (NO-BAY)

2009-08-04T07:01:00.000-07:00

Hi F&F (yes I am going to start saying F&F because typing friends and family is far too much work)

How are you?
Good I hope!
I apologize again for taking so long to get another blog up.
I'll try harder
I’m not the best at processing thoughts, I’ve found.
When something awesome happens I want to think about it, but id almost just rather sit and do something that requires no brain power.
I procrastinate thinking…if you will.
Something I am praying will change.
SOON PLEASE

As for me….
I am doing so well.
I cant even begin to explain what I have been through….been able to be a part of...in the last few weeks!

But alas…ill try!

Where do I begin?
Last time I updated I was getting ready to leave to go stay in the Ngobe tribe up in the mountains for 8 days.

The Ngobe people. They are so beautiful. So unique. So quiet and reserved. So unreached and so marginalized. They are agriculturists and are for the most part self-sustained. We went to the indigenous reserve known as the Ngobe Bugle Comarca (For the record Ngobe is spelled with the umlaut like in the title, but I will not put that in every time i spell it :). Anyways... All we really knew on our way was that these people have never really been photographed. Not with permission or professionally.  So we drove on a bus for 6 hours to do so….with their permission. After the bus ride we hopped on the back of pick up trucks with make shift seating and ascended into the mountains.
The 
Trucks
Looked
Like
This:

We went higher and higher. Above a layer of clouds…and another

The higher we got, the worse the road got…until it was totally unpaved and ridden with holes. Also as we went higher, we got further from tribes who had been exposed to the outside world. We went further than any YWAMer has ever gone before (dun dun dun)

I have never felt more excited for anything in my life as when we were driving up that mountain. That may be a bit of an exaggeration. But seriously. This would be the first time I was doing what I joined this program to do.
Photograph people, but most importantly show them God's love and share with them Jesus' story.
His redemption.
I mean REALLY. Thats what its all about isnt it? Stories. And how God's love and perfect plan and will and grace are intricitly woven throughout every persons life. So not only do I want to share Jesus' story, but mine as a testimony too. And I want to hear the stories of the people I meet. And tell them they are God's child who he loves and wants the best for.
They are redeemed in Him.
They are not alone.
Their stories are important.

Sorry. Tangent.

Anyway....
back to the excitement..
The anticipation was gripping me. Of meeting these people who are so unique and unbelievably gorgeous and sharing the love of God with them.  I felt Jesus’ love and sacrifice for these people strongly with each passing minute…every stray Ngobe we passed on the road was beautiful.


Not to mention the scenery. It was incredible. The air was cool…for once. And to think these people live up here in this beautiful place…maybe knowing God and thanking him for the beauty…but many not knowing the sacrifice Jesus made so that they may be free to love and share and hope.

Their cares and worries are so different than anything I have ever thought about…
Ill get to that in a bit.

We arrived at the village we would be staying in Cerra Flores, and met the Ngobe pastor who had invited us to come. His name was Rafael and he had a wife and a 3 week old baby. We were shown our accommodations, a small church with a tin roof and a smooth concrete floor. Then we had a meeting with the pastor and he shared the needs of the Ngobe people with us.

I just want to take a moment to paint a picture of this time. The clouds had settled over the mountain we were residing on. It was incredibly foggy. We had one flashlight shining on the ground as the pastor spoke. As I looked around I couldn’t see 20 feet because of the fog. Then as it got darker….the fireflies started flashing. It was such a sight to behold. The dark outlines of a few trees…thick fog…little flashes of yellow light. There were so many it almost looked as if the clouds had glitter on them and were reflecting some peculiar and indiscernible source of light on us. It was quite the display. I was so taken in. Almost breathless. My heart jumped imagining what God had planned for us in our time here. I could feel his excitement in that moment.

I wrote in my journal: The fog rested silently on our shoulders and the fireflies twinkled in the night. It was a fairy tale.
Yeah. That's how it felt.

When I tuned back in to the conversation (I tend to go off in daydreams and tune out things…leaving me confused…yeah, I’m that person) Rafael was talking….Literally as i tuned back in he said
 “The fields are ripe for harvest”. 

At this we all sorta gasped.

The quiet night became more silent…it was like we were struck with the fact we were really here…doing something. We could make a difference. He went on to describe his dreams to us around that little source of light. He wants to tell all the Ngobe people the Gospel. He once traveled to “the capital” of the Ngobe tribe called Tugri…about a 2 hour hike away…with his family. When he arrived he asked to enter and was refused because of his purposes of sharing about his religion.  and his family waited outside the village for 3 days in the rain with no shelter, and was finally let in. He told many people about Jesus and many people were saved. He is truly a radical and God fearing man, it was so humbling to hear him speak of his passion for Jesus.
Seriously. In those surroundings.
Wow.
He shared with us some important things that night.
We found out that some of the problems that the Ngobe people face.

Poverty.
They have no money….

Can’t legally marry cuz it costs $20. Money they will never have. Men often take multiple wives. They have children very young.

Occult.
Mamatata is what it is called. It is a mixture of many different religions and is very dark. Primarily Animism and Catholicim.

Loss of Culture.
Many of the Ngobe have been exposed to the western world and as a result are losing their culture. Their children are learning the Ngobe language less and less. Alcohol is becoming a problem in more exposed areas. Their quiet reserved spirit is being lost.
Education is in Spanish…and worse...Latin people who have taught them Christianity said they could only worship in Spanish

These are some of the issues we discussed that evening, and as we went to bed that night I think all of us said prayers to ourselves that God would use us to make an impact on these people in this place in this time.

After gazing out the window at the fog and fireflies for a while, i drifted off to sleep.
........

The next morning I woke up just as the sun was rising and took a step outside. It was clear day. And God greeted me with this spectacular display:



I turned around to see the building I had slept in and saw this:

No joke.

And this is the view from where we ate our meals:


After taking in this scenery and having breakfast i met this adorable little girl, a daughter in the family letting us use their kitchen!

Just the beginning of the fabulous people I would meet in the coming days!
As the morning rolled on we discussed our plans for the day. We were going to spend out time meeting people around the village and hearing their stories and praying for them.  And so we did just that.

The Ngobe people are VERY quiet. We were told to be quiet, don’t laugh our “American laughs.” HAHA. But seriously.

They are extremely reserved. The most conservative indigenous tribe in Panama. The women wear full-length dresses and the men wear slacks and button ups. They hardly ever smile. It was quite a challenge to smile at a kid and rarely get anything back but a stare. As a matter of fact they often cried at the sight of us white people.

Anyway, we were given permission to take photos so we took some and spent time with locals of Cerra Flores. We als invited the people we met to a church service we would have in the church we stayed in that evening.

The service was to be at 6.
5:00 rolled around and it started pouring rain.
Torrential downpour. It was insane. It didn’t stop either.
At 6 no one showed up and it started getting dark.
So we decided to start worship on our own with the other YWAM team that had come with us (music and worship DTS!).
8:00 the first people arrived. They walked in the rain with babies on their backs and all to meet us!

We got a candle and set in the middle of our circle. It was our only light source as more people started showing up.
Finally we had about 20 Ngobe people including the chief of Cerra Flores! He walked an hour in the rain to meet his visitors.
We had a little service. We sang How Great Thou Art in every language in the room- Ngobe, Spanish, English, Japanese, Korean, German, and Norwegian. It was amazing.
We had a little service where some of us shared our testimonies and some of the villagers did as well. I had an overwhelming feeling the whole time of God’s love. I felt that he was SO pleased with us meeting there and worshiping Him in our mother tongues.
At the end of the service we prayed for all of the people who had come to the service. A couple women recommitted their lives and their families to the Lord.
SO GOOD.
Then another amazing thing happened.
The chief (who is not a Christian) was touched by our little meeting and our passion for Jesus and preserving the unique culture of His people. It was clear as we spoke that we YWAMers were sincerely dedicated to bringing God into their lives in a way that didn’t ruin their culture. He could sense our heart and love for them.
And so he decided to dedicate 15 acres of land to YWAM in the nearby capital Tugri.
Yeah. It was a historic moment in YWAM :)

Overall? It was an amazing night. But things were just beginning.
...

The next day we did a little more local ministry and then later on in the day we were presented with two options. The next 5 days could be spent in Cerra Flores focusing on the villagers there even though most of them have heard the gospel…or we could hike to Tugri to see the land that was donated, pray over it, but most importantly share the love of Jesus with people who haven’t received it. Tugri is a land where no white people have ever been, and the Mamatata cult is the dominating "religion". Without much hesitation we decided to take option 2.

So the next morning we packed as lightly as possible and set out on what would be the most physically challenging thing most of us had ever done. We hiked for nearly 6 hours, mostly uphill, through the mountains. The whole time I kept thinking to myself…God…I am doing this for you and you only. You had better use us in this place we are going or I’m going to be mad. Although, it was beautiful, and I couldn’t help but sing worship songs which made the hike a little easier.

This is where we stopped to eat lunch.

I took this picture there:

The girl has a purse on her head that is holding a 3 week old baby. Yes she hiked exactly like that for 5 hours.

and this is just part of the beautiful hike...
Thats the trail we walked on :)

When we arrived in Tugri we were shown our accommodations. We stayed in a tiny hut, but it was the nicest they had because it had a tin roof and a concrete floor, which was never smoothed out after plopping down the concrete. But I didn’t mind it. There were animals everywhere, no toilet, and a faucet for a shower out in the open. But it was so beautiful so I really didn’t mind.

What we learned over the next few days was that the Ngobe reside mostly in the mountains in western Panama traveling back and forth between Costa Rica and Panama freely.  There are Ngobe people scattered all throughout the mountains, they estimate about 20,000 of them I think. What was interesting is we were talking to some of the ladies we met about the Embera people (another Panamanian indigenous tribe that another team is working with that are located in eastern panama) and after talking for a minute we realized they had no idea who we were talking about. They have no concept of any outside world at all besides their own people.
So as you can imagine us photographing them was quite a shock.

Many people didn’t want their photos taken because they had been taught to believe it takes away their soul, and so of course we wouldn’t photograph them.

Many people said yes and then would stare into the camera with the most confused looks. But it was great when I'd show them the photo…that got a smile out of them. It really was about the only way to connect with the language barrier. Show them their picture. Smile, Laugh. Ive always heard laughter is special...for whatever reasons.
I believe it now.
It heals.

Many people would ask why on earth id want to take THEIR photo. Id tell them…its cause you are beautiful. And God loves you and I want the world to know that.

(On a side note we got the names of the people we photographed and their permission to use their photos in a publication if we wanted to.)

While we were in Tugri for those few days I got the opportnity to take photos, but I also got to spend time with pastor Rafael praying for people, and seeing a few people give their lives to the Lord! It was SUCH a blessing.

These are some of the people I met.
Estefan. Had the greatest smile, and cutest giggle. Grandson of the man who owned the land that was donated (he is pictured below as well as his wife)








and another family we met. The mom got the kids all dressed up for us :) they were really shy but so sweet. They loved having their pictures taken. and they were utterly intrigued by us



like in many third world cultures, kids take care of kids as single moms or both parents work in the fields all day.


I love to let kids take pictures of me. They are so delighted and feel so privileged...they say something that i imagine goes like this "really?! I CAN TOUCH IT?!"

Did i mention they carry babies in purses that they hang on their HEADS?!

SO CUTE.

One of the days after going around meeting people and praying we had a meeting with anyone who wanted to come, and translated stories to one another, english to spanish to ngobe, and visa versa.

In some cases Norwegian to English...and so one :)
Jo Yngve from Norway taught us a song in Norwegian

And we got the privledge of seeing a Ngobe traditional dance.


I wont go on too much longer, but the days we spend in Tugri ministering were amazing. That first day and the days that followed had a lot of firsts. Like this dance, it was the first time foreigners saw and video taped this dance. We also got to see a Ngobe “battle” for the first time ever. We recorded Ngobe music for the first time. We wrote and recorded Ngobe worship songs. All they had ever been taught were in Spanish.

Our goal was to emphasize that they must embrace their culture and hold on to it. We stressed that the second they lose their language they lose their culture.
They are going to start schools with classes in Ngobe, Lord willing Ngobe speaking teachers can be found (prayer point!).

We also got to see the land for the YWAM base…it was beautiful:


me and one of the few Ngobe pastors (not Rafael)

Our team praying over the land. The land goes from where we are standing to the evergreen treeline below us.

I'll throw in a picture of Rafael and his baby girl for good measure :)

As we prayed over the land a few people committed to helping get it started.
The 15 acres of land that was donated was originally saved for tourism when a road was put in…so it is prime land. There have been plans to continue the road from cerra flores to Tugri, but it hasn’t happened yet. I am beginning to think they should never build that road.

Why?

When we left the Ngobe in the high mountains  (the hike back only took 3 hours cuz it was downhill!) we got a sort of culture shock in the Ngobe village we went to for the medical outreach. There was trash everywhere. Almost no one spoke Ngobe. Many people were very loud. We saw what the road through the village did as western influence overtook their culture. It was so hard for those of us that had spend the time in the mountains.

My heart years to preserve the beautiful traditions and culture of the Ngobe. The people I met up in the mountains will always be close to my heart and in my prayers. Pray for them…that their culture would not be lost. That their language will be preserved.

The medical outreach was not bad by any means. We met up with a team from CT who set up a clinic in a school in the province Cameron Arriba…two hours down the mountain from Cerra Flores (the first village we stayed in)
For three days our team worked alongside them to help organize the patient flow, assist in the Pharmacy, care for children, cook meals for the medical workers, take photos, and pray and love on people. It was quite different yet really awesome to assist a medical team of about 20 (Doctors, Nurses, a Dentist and a Pharmacist) see 2,000 patients in three days!
I do not doubt that God used us there as well as in Tugri and Cerra Flores.
Some photos from the Medical outreach:




All in all the Ngobe experience is something Ill never forget. The smiles. The culture. The unique traits of these wonderful people. God really revealed His heart for his Ngobe children to me and I saw them in a way that made my heart explode with love.
I hope that this entry touched you a little and you could experience some of what I did thru my photos.
Thank you for reading.
Much love and Ngobu Madimiga (God Bless you in Ngobe)
Cambria

Coming VERY soon....

2009-08-03T13:38:00.000-07:00

A new blog about my trip to the Ngobe tribe.
I am SO sorry I havent updated in a month. Awful.
Please continue to follow me in my journey!
For now...here is a picture of me holding a chicken :)

Joy and Trials.

2009-07-05T19:45:00.001-07:00

This title is the best way to describe my life here. Today. Yesterday. For the last week.

Its so lovely here....yet so difficult.

The enemy is trying so hard to stop the love of God we are experiencing and beginning to pour out on the Panamanian people.

Sickness....
Homesickness.....
Fear....

You name it.

I am excited. I am learning what it takes to be a full time missionary. It is challenging to the core of my being. But this challenge fuels my spirit. It thrills me. It makes my toes tingle.

So do earthquakes...

July 4th, 2 am....6.0 earthquake hits a few miles northeast of where i am staying. It woke me from a dead sleep, and immediately I was terrified....
the rumble...
the shaking....

It took me an hour to get back to sleep. For the first forty five minutes I was pretty much replaying the event in my mind. I was so uneasy of another one coming. I felt almost violated. After all, I sleep on the ground, and my bed should NOT shake while I sleep. It is the one place I should be able to rest from the toils of the day. Then I remembered someone in my room shouted "Earthquakes don't happen in Panama!" Thats interesting, I thought. Its like God is teasing us by sorta saying, "now that you're in Panama, its time to shake things up a bit"

Thats when Romans 13:11-12 came to mind. Well, I like to think that God put it into my mind. And I just happened to remember all of the words by memory :)
"The hour has come for you to wake from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light."
The enemy has been right on our heels ever since we arrived here in Panama. Trying to scare us away from his firm clutch on this country. Whether it be by placing fear of man on us, sickness, or homesickness...he has been trying hard to win. But thankfully we are surrounded by prayer (thank you everyone) and we will not let our guards down!!

Dont worry...everyone is safe after the earthquake, and no significant damage was done.

I really feel that God is doing a lot here. We have had multiple people tell us that God told them he brought my team here for a reason. That things are going to happen while we are here. And I am really beginning to feel truth in this. Things are already happening. There have been so many firsts.

First bad rainstorm in 5 years the first sunday...wiped out a few houses in a nearby tribe, so we spent the whole next day helping clean up the mess left behind.

Heres a picture of me hacking away at a tree with a machete! This tree fell on the sister of the cheif's house. So we spent the day chopping it up and moving it!

First earthquake in 9 years...6.0? God really is shaking things up.

They have also told us "It never rains this much in Panama"

Oh, and did i mention there was another earthquake last night? 5.3 on the richter scale...and it was in the same place...interesting!

First week??

bats, ants cockroaches, pig squirrels, 6.2 earthquake, humidity, sweat, mall, sight- seeing, ruins, rash, outdoor hose shower, machetes, praise, joy, laughter, prayer, living in community, cute children, jaguar, leapord, puma, abandoned town, cheap corner store, apple soda, grape soda, skyline, railroad, big boats, panama canal, Caymans, turtles...in no particular order.

Coming soon.....
Ministry that we are working with:
Orphans
Ngobe tribe...most unreached and marginalized people group in Panama.

Will update soon!!
Thank you for reading!!

Nothing but the blood of Jesus

2009-06-29T06:24:00.000-07:00

What can wash away my sin
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can make me whole again
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

What can feed the starving babe
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can free the captive slave
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

What can cause a war to cease
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
Reconcile hatred and make-peace
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

We sing a liberation song
And it´s the blood of Jesus
One day the whole world will sing along
About the blood of Jesus

So we were singing this song last night during our team worship. You are all probably familiar with the song, but maybe not so much with this version. My leader Stephan Schallert wrote the verses, which I think are very powerful. Anyway, I just wanted to make note because for some reason I was just weeping last night when we started singing this. The passion of Jesus and what he did for us is just overwhelming to me. Also the possibilities of what Jesus' sacrifice can reconcile struck me like the biggest tidal wave last night. All I want is to share His LOVE to the world and teach people how to love one another like we are meant to- as brothers and sisters in Christ. All Children of God. As a team we strive to be an example of this love by loving God and one another with our entire selves. By sacrificing anything for one another in Jesus' name. That is unity if you ask me. And I feel so blessed by the Lord to be here.

That's all...thanks for reading :)

Also, please read the last post...it is long but it tells a lot of what I am doing!!

PANAMA and beyond!

2009-06-27T16:55:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!

So I made it to Panama!! We have internet kinda whenever it works, its wireless so it depends on the mood of the adapter i guess. I will try to update my blog once a week from now on to keep you up to date!

So I guess Ill just share a little bit of what I will be doing here. I also will share a bit about track since I haven't officially announced anything about it!

So first of all, about Panama! The YWAM base here was full so my team is staying in a church now! I am sleeping in the sunday school room, its quite cute! :) We do have to sleep on the floor, and the showers are just faucets outside...but thats okay because the church is literally a stones throw away from the Panama canal...which is super cool! The town that the church is in is called Gambo...its this little town that used to be where all the US citizens resided before the canal was given over to Panama. Now just some scientists from the Smithsonian (yeah i know random, good evangelism opportunity ;) ) are here and canal keepers. There is no road out of Gambo so people are either coming in or going out, no passing through. Interesting huh? So today we got oriented and we found out about the orphan problem in Panama which is probably what we will be working with during the time we are in the Panama city. Apparently there are 50,000 orphans in Panama and the adoption/ foster program pretty much doesn't exist. People do not want these orphans. So there are a lot of orphanages where a lot of horrible things go on like sexual abuse and physical abuse. Plus, they don't get normal attention... they are emotionally deprived and babies are left in their cribs- never held or loved, so they dont develop correctly. So this couple Matt and Misty from North Carolina moved here in October (they left behind a very well off and comfortable life!!) to start making changes in the adoption system. They are trying to raise awareness about the problems in the orphanages and get adoption on the map as an option for Panaminians. All the while they are loving on kids as much as possible. So over the next few months we will be helping them with these things!! I am very excited, God has really stirred up my heart for this issue! I am sure I will be doing more here, and I will let you know when I know. Our schedule is pretty flexible which I like!

The rest of the time we are here will be spent with indigenous tribes. There are problems with some tribes losing their culture because they were taught about Christianity i't allowed to speak at all, and their musical backgrounds are forgotten about because music is "wrong". So we are hoping to try and help them bring their culture back!

Not all tribes are like this, in other tribes we will just learn about their culture and teach them about Jesus if they haven't heard!

So, as you can imagine I am very excited to be here!!

We will also be speaking in schools and churches about what it is that PhotogenX (the program I am in) and Voice for the Voiceless (the ministry that our leaders started) do to get people excited and interested :)

Next, I want to share briefly about track.

Track is something I am so excited about.

Track will take me around the world for the next year.

It is an extended version of PhotogenX)

I will be doing school (studying photography, the Bible, worldview and religion) as well as using my photography to fight injustice. It is such a unique tool. Not only does photography impact people who see the photos, but it can impact the people you photograph. It is so neat how taking a photo of someone can validate a persons existence. They say "why would you want to take a photo of me?", or, "I am so ugly, no one loves me, don't take a picture of me" And thats where I as a Christian photographer step in and say "That is not true. You are a beautiful child of God. He loves you more than you can possible imagine" People want this love. And I am so excited that I am able to bring them God's love through Jesus.

So that is our goal. To address issues like sex tourism, human trafficking, infanticide, child pornography/prostitution, hunger/starvation, and many more by bringing the Word to people oppressed by the issues and bring them God's love.

We will photograph them and then at the end of the year traveling we will go back to Hawaii and make a publication (maybe a movie or a book) that addresses these issues...and then we will tour the western world (Europe, America, Australia, New Zealand) and share about what we saw in churches and schools using our publication. It is very exciting. This is going to be an awesome year.

Here is a VERY brief schedule

September-December 2009- South Africa- second photography course

January-March 2010- Egypt, Israel, Palestine, Turkey, and other parts of the middle east- we will study the Bible ON LOCATION!

April-end of June 2010- Europe, India, Asia-studying worldview and religion

July-December 2010- Kona- producing publication

January-March 2011- Western world- sharing our publication, raising awareness about issues

April 2011- Debrief in Kona- IM DONE!

LONG trek huh? I feel so blessed and excited to be able to do it!!

The track is 1,200 a month, so if you feel inspired by what I am doing and would like to help support me that would be AMAZING :)

THANK you for reading!! Sorry this was so long! Hope it was informational!

Thank you for all your prayers and support thus far, I REALLY appreciate it :)

God is so good isnt he? When i was flying into Panama the sun was setting, the clouds were beautiful, the landscape looked amazing, and I got this overwhelming feeling of God's love...and care...for every single person in this country and the world. And how he pays attention to detail, he delights in creating beautiful clouds for us to look at. He delights in all of His children. AH. I seriously was tearing up and all I could do was sing worship because HE IS SO GOOD! Just wanted to share :)

In my previous blog I talked about....

2009-06-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

LOCAL OUTREACH

We spent all of last week going around the island of Hawai'i getting to know the people who live here and sharing the gospel as the Lord led us.

It was an incredible adventure where I learned so much about using photography as a way to evangelize. I am so excited to see how God can continue to use this passion of mine to expand His kingdom in Panama and on my around the world adventure.

The theme of our photos that we will exhibit next weekend downtown Kona is CONTRAST. (read more about this in my previous blog)

We went out with the intention of pouring out God's love on these people by showing interest in their stories and giving them a sense of validation through taking their photos. And I really felt like this purpose was fulfilled in many ways! It was so exciting to shine the light of Jesus in me onto the vast spectrum of the Hawaiian people.

Skate night- A ministry on the University of the Nations campus every tuesday night. VERY cool! Teens from all over Kona come!
This is Vada Rose. A sweet lady who has been selling Kona coffee at this little stand downtown Kona for many years! She is 80 years old! Unfortunately, she is not a believer.

This is Ronald and Georgianna Wilcox. They own this video rental store called Two Sisters in a little town just north of Waipio Valley called Honoka'a. She is Hawaiian, he is from Iowa :) Non-Christians.
This is Daniel and Mana. They have both lived in Honoka'a their entire lives and have known eachother for just as long! Daniel loved to share about how they used to play baseball together.

They are not believers.
I spent an hour at this beach praying for and shooting photos of the locals who were surfing and body boarding.
This is Johnny. He is a veteran who meets with a friend every tuesday and thursday in Kona to tell stories and just hang out. He moved to Hawaii after his brother died leaving behind a 7 month old baby. He is a non Christian, but I am very excited because he was intrigued by what photogenX does. He will be attending our photo exhibition!

I shared with you the status of their beliefs simply because I am praying for them, and if you feel led to after seeing these photos, you can as well! I am keeping in e-mail contact with most of them and hoping to continue to show them God's love and joy.

More to come soon about OUTREACH :)

10 week update

2009-06-10T19:29:00.000-07:00

Hello friends and family!

I apologize that I havent updated in so long!

The good news is that I havent been slacking because I am lazy, its just because I have been busy learning and building relationships!

YAY!

So I have now been here for 10 weeks. WOW! That means that I leave for outreach in 2 weeks!!

AHH!

God is so good.

I am so excited about his love. It has been poured out on me in so many ways in the past 10 weeks.

First of all...I am so blessed by my supporters. Thank you to all of you who have given to me financially and for all of the prayers!! I have managed to raise $161o/ $2390 for the second payment for my outreach to Panama. Only need $780 more by next week! (I'd greatly appreciate your prayers that God would provide this money :) )

So a little more about what is going on in my life.

Sadly, on outreach I will not be going to Cuba anymore. Why? Because they tax everything SO MUCH for Americans, it was cost us Americas $500 more to go! But my team has been praying and we feel God has many opportunities for us to serve in Panama.

So we will be spending 10 weeks in Panama and then off to South Africa

But more about outreach to come....

This week we are doing local outreach which has been an amazing learning experience.

It is so awesome practicing what it means to love on people. To see value in everyone as God sees value in them. My team decided we wanted to go to Honokaa, a little town near Waipio valley (the place with the waterfall I posted pictures from earlier). We went yesterday and today, and I had the opportunity to meet some really cool locals and talk with them about Jesus. I will post pictures from this time later this week.

We will be having a photo exhibition next week of pictures taken this week during local outreach. The theme that we have been assigned to look for is contrast. Contrast of what Hawaii looks like to the outside world, and what it is actually like to live here. Old people, young people. Rich, poor. Free, oppressed. Christian, Athiest. Dark and light skinned. Hot, cold. Really any variety of contrast. I am very excited to see how this exhibition turns out! It will be on the Kona boardwalk so tourists and locals alike can see what we captured in this beautiful (and sometimes not so beautiful) place called Hawaii.

More to come on all of this!! Just wanted to fill you all in!

Thank you again for your prayers!!!

Love,

Cambria

AHHH!

2009-05-14T18:53:00.001-07:00

Need 2,000 dollars by the end of this month! Pray that God will provide! Thank you! Over and out :)

Me

2009-05-13T01:59:00.000-07:00

Its not all fun and games....but some :)

2009-05-13T01:40:00.001-07:00

We went on this gorgeous hike through the jungle to get to a 1000 foot waterfall. It looked like jurassic park. It was an incredible chance to get away from all of the overwhelming things going on with school, like a vacation for a day ...We had to hike through rivers and over boulders and it was one of the most strenuous things I have ever done, and probably the most beautiful place I have ever been.

Love.

2009-05-13T01:22:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!
I apologize I am not so good at putting up new posts, things are just so hectic!
The last couple of weeks have been awesome.
We have learned about the father heart of God, we have studied the Bible in depth, and we have looked at the Lordship of Jesus!
God has been moving in my life more and more. I am learning more about Jesus every day, and really how to let Him be Lord of my life. I am reading this awesome book Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. To sum up what I have gotten from it so far I really feel that my life is meant to be lived in the sort of way that mirrors the way Jesus lived. I want to see the injustice issues going on in the world the way the Lord sees them. I want to have Jesus' heart for the poor, the rejected, and the oppressed. I want to live in LOVE.
God is teaching me about His heart for the people, but also for me. I am learning to love myself, which is a struggle every day. But as I learn to see myself in God's image and see his love for me, I can then be set free of any lies that the enemy has planted in my spirit in the past. And I can be attuned to know when he is trying to lie to me again and reject it! This is a battle that I am winning more and more every day. Being free and full of the joy of the Spirit means that I can do the work of the Lord without anything holding me back!
So it is really my dream to love people how God loves them. To be his hands and his feet to reach the people.
My prayer this week is that I would be able to manage my time so that I can really organize my thoughts and have time to process all that I am learning, but also get all of my school work done.
Thank you for your prayers! God bless!!
In Him,
Cambria

Friends!

2009-04-22T01:20:00.001-07:00

Here are some pictures of the friends I have been making!
(In no particular order :) )
(p.s. if you are not in any of these photos dont feel like you are not my friend, its just because I dont have any pictures of you! Sorry!!)

Cale from California!

Ashley from Colorado Springs!

Amazing leader Anne- from Dallas!

Lulu- my awesome and hilarious friend from Germany!

John from Canada!

Lindsay (Omaha) and Naomi (New Zealand) !!!

Stacy and Brittany- they are both Canadians!

Where do I begin?

2009-04-21T18:32:00.000-07:00

Hello my family and friends! Hope you are doing swell!

I want you to know right from the beginning this is going to be ridiculously long, but after this post I will make things MUCH more brief!!
God is doing some amazing things here on the campus of University of the Nations, but he is especially real within my little PhotogenX DTS (but maybe I'm biased)! I have only been here a couple weeks, but it feels like much longer!! So much has changed in my life, I feel like a new person. I can only imagine how I will feel in 6 months (or 2 years) once God has opened my eyes to more of his heart and plans for my future.
Ill give you a bit of a summary of what I have been up to and what I have been learning.

The first day I arrived here I already wanted to turn around and go home because I was assigned to a very early morning work duty (if you're reading this you probably know I am not a morning person), and I didnt know a soul. I didnt feel welcome, or like I fit in. But of course there was NO turning back. And I am glad about that because things changed quickly!!
The weekend I arrived my school had a beach day where we went to a beautiful beach north of campus. I started making friends with some of my roommates and other people in my DTS, and of course got to take some pictures!
Since then relationships have only been building more and more, and I got seriously blessed with a mistake in the work duty records so my work duty is now from 5-7 pm!!
But these arent the things that have changed my life in the matter of two weeks.
What has been so amazing is presence of God in our classroom every day.

For those of you who dont know how a DTS works ill explain a little: Essentially a DTS has a focus (which mine is photography, obviously), but the main point of it is to build a strong relationship with God and find His calling for your life. It is sort of like an educational bridge to your future (often times with YWAM ministries). My DTS has two AMAZING leaders (along with an incredible group of other staff members) Paul and Susi Childers who run the whole thing! So every day from 8am-12pm I have lectures led by various guest speakers and often Paul. Every night we have class from 7-9 which is either an educational movie, photo class, small group times (I have an amazing small group leader Anne who I am getting to know and love) or community lecture. We also have worship every morning from 8-8:30 am. We get photo assignments every week which are turned in every friday (along with other homework like journals and book reports), and then evaluated on mondays in front of the class!

So back to the life changing part!
The first week of lectures was about hearing Gods voice. We were assigned to read the book Is That Really You, God? by Loren Cunningham (The founder of YWAM). We spent the first two days going through our entire group of 53 people sharing our testimonies. This was an amazing time for us to grow closer as a group.
The second week is really where God showed up in our little classroom. The theme of the week was Freedom in Christ. Our guest speakers were Faith and Andrew Dutton from New Zealand/ Australia. They were amazing and eye opening about what it looks like to die to the flesh and grow up and begin walking with Christ. We ended the week with two days of confession where we got up in front of our class and publicly declared our sins and asked God to forgive us. It was so eye opening and wonderful, and I felt like a huge burden was lifted from me and of course I grew much closer to my wonderful class.

So that pretty much gets you up to date!! I will be uploading pictures of some of the adventures I have had in between all of this growing and learning! Thank you so much for reading and for you continuous prayers!!!

In Him, Cambria

My intro to blogspot!

2009-04-20T18:25:00.000-07:00

So facebook will not let me put pictures up currently so for now I am going to try out this thing they call "blogspot"? Is it two words? Or is it called blogger? I dont know! I am sorry there is not much to look at right now but I am surely going to add a lot very soon!! I am also sorry that my punctuation and english isnt perfect for those of you it may bother. I am aware, but too lazy to capitalize every single "I" or put an apostrophe in every "isn't". :) .This picture is blurry I know but it is the only one i have right now that you can see my new hair-do. I cut it short to keep it manageable and also to keep cool!! I am sitting at the top of a cliff that I later jumped off of! yay!! okay more coming soon! bye!!